Yesteryear

Wherever you are, have a happy new year.
Best wishes go out to everyone, may every tomorrow be better than the one before.

And ever after.

ACHOO!

Have finally managed to dig

Have finally managed to dig keyboard out from mound of Kleenexes. Managed to get a flu for Christmas and have pretty much been out of it for the past few days. Am still feeling a little groggy and spacey, so regular blogging will resume as soon as I can string coherent sentences together again. Though I was mildly delirious for most of the 25th I think I recall that it was a wonderful if slightly obscure day, spent with those dear and near.

Will post some more later when the effects of the cold medicine have worn off and I am feeling a little more alert. Until then hope you are all enjoying ze holidays :)

A Christmas wish, amongst musings.

The tasks are almost done. [well sorta.. still the baking left to do..] We are just about to put up the tree. Then the process of putting on the lights as the tree tilts and topples will begin. Then with great silly care the baubles and the figurines, shall be placed upon the tree, with perhaps a string of popcorn. [This has always been something I have wanted to do, but cajoling others into the task has not yet been an effective endeavor ;) ] When the tree is all shiny and bright, the baking shall be done and we shall begin raising our glasses in good cheer.

To all of you out there who pop in occasionally, we would like to wish a Very Merry Christmas. May all the joys of the world fill your hearts on this holiday season. With much merriment, we bid you all a goodnight.

So the list is slowly diminishing, a third there and already I am pooped :)
Lets see what have we done so far.. [glancing down, updating list and editing it]

As an aside.
Though I do tease Hugin about blogging, I only do so in fun. It is just so deliciously wonderful when he does post...

Hmm, well my beloved is talking about Xmas chores and the such and my mind is on a completely different track.

[[I'm being laughed at for blogging... although this is of course denied]]

For some reason just thinking about validation. Thinking about websites and blogs and why people will write on them. Why people place areas where others can write comments. I am sure there are many reasons for doing so. But I was thinking of a specific case and thinking it was for validation.
The web is anonymous, even though so many personal things can be placed out for anyone to read and to comment on, it is safe in some ways.
And while occasionally one might receive unfavorable comments, in the most part I think this would be rare. Therefore any comments received would be supportive and a form of validation.
I'm not going to go into any depth on this, fault me for that if you will; it was just a link in a train of thought.
Websites, exposure, validation... and onward looking at other sources of validation.
Walking down the street and getting yelled at by people or catcalled, or whistled at, some people would take these as attacks or bolstering of their validation and self-worth. Are they?
Interactions in group dynamics, who talks with who, who has coffee with who, or who doesn't...
The love in our life, the way they see us and that they love us.
I'm not going to say that these things do not touch us and thereby influence our sense of validation; one cannot monitor a system without influencing that system.
But it is when these things dominate our sense of worth that things become problematic. If we let one of these tip the scales in how we value ourselves and we change who we are, and are not true to ourselves. If we let strangers dictate our self-worth we are slaves to `them' and intangibles that `they' deem of value, things that are `in'. If we let our friends dictate our self-worth we risk being sycophantic or suffer as friends ebb and flow based on their lives and ours. Even the ones we love are not static, but change as we change.
It used to be thought that the universe was made of perfect spheres of crystal that unchanging made the music of the heavens. We know this (for now) to be untrue. Imperfections exist, the universe and everything in it is in flux and chaos (let's not go into the nature of order in chaos and chaos in order right now).
So external validation as the sole driving force for self-worth is flawed. We cannot live our lives for others though we may try. We cannot justify our choices to others, though we may spend every last breath in the attempt. Because in the end we are all accountable only to ourselves; the good, the righteous, the evil, the villainous. Nobody can convince you of anything, until you convince yourself. This leads into the whole thought of redemption, punishment, rehabilitation and the like, something else I won't go into.

The end thought was we cannot work outside in when it comes to who we are and why we do things, we must work inside out.
Not a new thought, just a different train to an old train station.

Me head, where's me 'ead???

Eight hours left and much to do. Yoiks! Am not sure if we are going to get all of this done in time.
Left to do:
Wrap prezzies
Buy groceries for Christmas Breakie and Chistmas Dinner... Opps forgot the milk!
Clean and vacuum. Vacumming done, one room left to mop. Then the bathroom needs a cleaning.
Drag tree out of truck. [Clunk, clunk, slip, bang, heave] Tree is now sitting on front porch. Thanks to our flatmate.
Defrost tree [poking tree] It feels kinda warm, a little prickly perhaps. Hmm.. [poke, poke]
Put up Tree
Trim tree with lovely lights and Pooh figurines, maybe a bit of tinsel?
Bake cookies
Bake pies
Make stuffing for ze bird [luckily our flatmate's cooking ze bird]
Place presents under tree
Hang up stockings!
Have some egg nog and pass out.

That sounds about right. Well I am off... [buzz buzz buzz]

Xmas... is it here yet?

Xmas... is it here yet? Now? When's soon? Is it here soon now?
.... now?

how about here now?
*sigh*
Now?

Plucked from Spitfire's site.
Just passing along a link that has made me smile, reflect, and tear. They say a picture can convey a thousand words. I believe it.

Two Words, movie...

The charade preview from Monster Inc is now online for your viewing pleasure! [happy clapping of hands] Also some of the outtakes are there too. Yippee!!! [giggling] The charades preview so funny...

[warm laughter ensues] Maybe I shall remain mute for a while? [impish wink]

I have just been teased with `oh my god, he posted'... well, I figured if she wasn't going to be able to talk I would have to make up for it by increasing my own output by about 8000%... That's a lot, I may lose my voice again!

So I was reading about the release of the first Lord of the Rings movie and saw that Wellington had renamed itself Middle-Earth in honor of this event, going so far as to change the masthead on their paper something that hadn't been done in 130 some years...
Ottawa has an Alanis Morissette day......

How does one get into New Zealand again?

Something a friend set me to reading.

I saw this one and for those of you who are Frank Herbert fans... well, it's better if you are a coffee fan too.

My ability to think creatively has gone the way of a scratchy throat and voice that is slowly degenerating into a whisper. 'Silence at last' muses our flatmate, and a beloved Hugin [[I did not]]. After days of pestering him on how he is feeling; if he wants more throats lozenges, tea or something to dull the pain, to which he could only respond in grunts and sign, I have finally succumbed to the same affliction. So it shall now be my turn to grunt, moan, and attempt to convey needs by spelling 'em out in sign language. Wish us luck, for this has resulted in much confusion, laughter and the occasional 'You want what? Honey where?' during the past few days.

I shall post more later when the creative juices flow once again and I feel I have something more interesting to post, other than the mishaps of miscommunication that occur when one cannot speak. [Though those can occasionally be amusing...]

Sick. `Nuff said.

Ranting: A Snot-Nosed...

A person came to fix our oven today after 2 months of it being out of commission. Our landlord took his time in calling the person, basically ignoring the request for the first month. The man showed up at 8 o'clock and took 10 minutes to fix the stove, and voila all done only thing left to do was notify the landlord that oven was fixed and ask him if he could kindly please come upstairs so he could pay the man. Do you know what our dear landlord replied. Oh you are going to love this. He said that he was not ready to come upstairs as the man had only notified him that he would be in at 9:00 and could we please tell the man to come back then. Can you believe it? Of all the gaul, it takes real chutzpah or complete idiocy to respond with something like that. The repairman was at a complete loss. His first response was, "who does this man think he is?" He then went on to tell me that our landlord had only called him last night and that when he told him that he was incapable of coming in this morning as his father had just passed way, our landlord proceeded to tell him off.
Can you believe that, not only did our landlord lie about having called the repairman earlier on in the week but also he threw a fit because the repairman asked him for a more appropriate notification. When all was said and done our landlord came back upstairs and proceeded to lecture me on how I should use the oven. "Make sure nothing overflows, don't use foil..." Excuse me? The only things I use the oven for are baking and lasagna, neither of which overflow. Aside isn't it the responsibility of the landlord to repair things that he rents out?

Squeeze-tug-pull! Gasp!

How is it that jeans manage to shrink by two sizes after they have been washed? Who designed them such? [Tug-grunt] Pulling desperately in a vain attempt to get jeans past thighs. It feels as if some imp snuck into our room in the middle of the night and switched me jeans. [Gasp] [Stretch-bend-squat] No that ain't working either...[suck in tummy, attempt to button up jeans] Nope. [Waddling around room with jeans pulled up mid thigh searching for new pair] Gah! Washed these too. Oh well back to the calisthenics.

-- --- .-. ... . -.-. --- -.. . ..- -. .-. .- ...- . .-.. .-.. . -..

I have wanted to pick up Morse code for years. I don't know why just one of those things. It's a shame that this form of communication is being lost. Thanks to Christine I can finally be an elitist snob and write in code without having to go through the long process of learning it. Pretentious I know. [Sigh] Perhaps I should give it the old college try and actually learn it. It couldn't hurt, would be fun and you never know when it could be useful. What was that? D? Are you sure that's the right answer?

.-- . .-.. .-.. - .... .- - ... .. - ..-. --- .-. -- . --. --- --- -.. -. .. --. .... - .- .-.. .-.. ... .-- . . - .- -. -.. .... .- .--. .--. -.-- -.. .-. . .- -- ...

Despair.

Met a man in the streets the other day, with despair in his eyes that drove right through me. It has been a while since I have seen that much anguish in someone's eyes. There was also a feeling of lost hope as he sat huddled in the cold, arms outstretched begging for some change from those who past by.

The streets are filled with people asking for money and it's amazing how quickly we dismiss them, bunching them in with the useless, pretending they don't exist. How many times have you quickly rushed by someone begging in the streets hoping they won't bother you? I know I have on occasions, fearing them and what they might ask, knowing that I cannot always give.

Shelving

Moved bookshelves from friend's place to our place with help of said friend. Dragged bookshelves down hallway scaring felines and nearly squishing one of them. Zoiks!!! [I should have placed them in a secure room before doing this.] Put up shelves. Moved books off old bookshelves, placed books on new shelves. Dusted old shelves moved 'em into flatmate's room. Scavenged around house for books to place on new shelves. Found more books, put them on bookshelves. Added following to reading mound;

'Cryptonomicon' Neal Stephenson
'Truth' Terry Pratchet
'Stardust' Neil Gaiman
'The Stone Diaries' Carol Shields
'Lady of Avalon' Marion Zimmer Bradley
'By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept' Paulo Coello
'If Chins Could Kill' Bruce Campbell
'The Business' Iain Banks
'The Lord God Made them All' and 'All things Wise and Wonderful' James Herriot
'Anil's Ghost' Michael Ondaatje - Another book of his that I want to read is 'In the Skin of a Lion', but do not have the book as of yet.
'A Series of Unfortunate Events' Books 1-6; Lemony Snicket - had picked these up because I loved the introduction at the back.
'The Te of Piglet' Benjamin Hoff - Loved his other book, 'The Tao of Pooh' am hoping that this is as good.
'Les Trois Mousquetaire' Dumas - this has always been one of my favorite stories. Thought I'd give it a try in its original form. Though as my French is currently weak this should take a while.
'Red Mars' Kim Stanley Robinson - This is being revisited as I had started it and then promptly misplaced it.
'Soul of the Fire' and 'Faith of the Fallen' Terry Goodkind - Though do not know if I have the patience to read them.
'The Path of Daggers' Robert Jordan - Scratch that, I definitely do not posses the patience to keep reading his books. Perhaps in another decade or so...
'A brief History of Time' Stephen Hawking - am a science nut, 'nuff said.

These should hopefully keep me busy through the cold wintry months. Though I feel as if I shall need more fodder for ze mind, it is a hungry beast and always wants more. Got any suggestions?

Remembrances

It's been nearly three months since the attacks on September 11, and it feels as if an eternity has passed. I can still remember walking into work on that fateful day, logging onto my computer and checking the news. My usual routine, before I got down to the usual grind of work. I remember popping onto BBC News and seeing a picture of a plane crashing into the World Trade Tower. All I could think of was "This can't be real, it must be a mistake. The pilot must have gone off course. What is a Cessna doing flying about the city." In my mind I couldn't grasp that the plane was actually a passenger plane, nor could I grasp the fact that this plane could possibly be larger then a two-prop Cessna. A few minutes later I learnt that a second plane was seen going into the tower and my mind reeled. It was then that I understood that this was no accident and it was then that I learnt that these were actually passenger planes that had been hijacked. For the rest of the day I could not bring my self to concentrate on anything else but what was going on in the States. It got to a point where I had to force myself to leave the office and go down to the café so that I could take a break from the images that assaulted my mind, my soul. Upon arriving down stairs I broke into tears. It took several more days for me to be able to watch the news without crying, yet as I write this, tears still come unbidden.

I still can't quite grasp the fact that the towers are actually gone, and I still can't grasp the reasoning as to why this happened. Though I know that there are no reasons for us to grasp. There are no logical explanations as to why a group of people would see fit to do something as horrific as this. I believe it is this that makes it more horrifying for me. How can someone deem the killing of innocents necessary? How can one people say that another is not worthy of being? Why is it that a people that are so similar in one aspect if different in another cannot find peace? I guess the answer to these questions may lay in our history. It seems that throughout the course of human evolution there has always been one extreme group or another who have felt justified in declaring themselves far superior to those around them. Who have deemed themselves to be greater in the eyes of god. The Crusades, the Spanish inquisition, and World War II bear witness to these facts. But can the past be used as a justification, as an excuse "It is in our nature, these things have happened and will always happen and there is naught that we can do". Or do we learn from the past and try not to repeat it. Learn from what has been, and better ourselves with this knowledge.

Why are people so afraid of meeting the unfamiliar, sharing, and learning from them? Why is it that we feel threatened by that we do not understand, or by that that differs from us? This world holds a diverse nation, each with their own cultures, each with their own ideals, but all humans one no different from the other. We are all born the same way. We will all live a life. Though granted some may be harder then others. We all have families, some our own, some adopted, some drawn together from the friends we meet and the people who have touched our lives. We all have fears and aspirations. We all dream. We all Hope and in the end of our life we all shall pass.

Maybe I am too idealistic in my view of the world. Maybe I am too much of an innocent. But from the travels I have taken, from the people I have met. From their willingness to teach me about themselves and their cultures. From the sights I have seen, the beauty of our world is just incredible. Aye, even with its rough spots, and I have seen my fare share of those. In my heart I still believe that there is a hope that our world may one day live in peace... all it takes is the willingness and the patient to learn from one another, the openness to accept that there are views other then our own.

For all those that passed away and those that are left behind my sincerest condolences and heartfelt wishes. May god keep this world safe and sound, and maybe one-day we will hopefully find peace.

Abashed.

'Guilt threats' ... humph... Indeed!!
Why do I now feel like the nagging fishmongers wife? They were not guilt threats, just the loud musings of someone who is now feeling somewhat abashed.

So!

I have been receiving what I shall loosely call `guilt threats' for my lack of posting. But hey! I speak when I speak, and don't speak for what would amount to the majority of the rest of the time... How can you change the nature of a blogger? I know that kept Plato and Aristotle up nights.

Why do I feel a site redesign coming on?

Must be a need to be creative. Perhaps a sackful of Crayolas would be better suited to my need of expressing myself. Anyone got some crayons they can lend me, and a mound of brown paper?
I shall be off to scribble away.

Blimey, It's Art!

If I was a work of art, I would be Claude Monet's Waterlilies. I am soft and gentle, but very colourful. Although based in reality, I look at the world through a filter of impressions which shape how I see things. Splashes of light help to define my presence and bring an endearing quality. Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

via blogatelle

Yawn. Stretch. Groom...

We have three frisky felines at home. Let me rephrase that, we have one frisky feline, she is chocolate brown, sleek and gets into all sorts of mischief. Recently her favorite spot to nap is on my lap, which makes it rather awkward when one has to make a mad dash for the phone. She has also taken to drinking me coffee, which is rather worrisome, as caffeine can be rather dangerous for animals. I had left my cup unattended yesterday and came back into the office to find her lapping at my mug! Having suitably chastised her, not that you can do that as effectively with a cat, seems to work better with dogs, I sent her on her way hoping that she hadn't gotten enough caffeine to make her ill or hyper. Luckily the coffee did not make her ill but she spent the better half of the morning chasing the other two cats about the house. [Ruefully shaking head]

The second is a dame, a very pretty longhaired cat who can be found preening herself at all hours of the day while resting on a cardboard box. Though lately she has taken to licking the box as well, I am not quiet sure if that is good for her. Finally there is the Old Pear, who has recently been graced with that name. She is big and grey, rather rotund. The diet she has been on has been somewhat unsuccessful, as she will gorge herself on the other cats' food. She is very sweet in nature and a big suck for tummy rubs. Most days she can be found splayed on the living room floor tummy exposed eyes pleading for a rub.

Have been thinking of added some more animals into the mix, but am not sure if this would be a prudent idea. A while back one of my friends and I shared an apartment. Between the two of us we had one rather large pup, a cat, two budgies and two fish. The flat was more of a zoo then a home and I am not quiet sure if I want to repeat that experience. Will have to put some more thought into the matter or wait till I have a big enough house preferably on a large plot of land. Though then I will probably be known as 'The Crazy Animal Lady'. [Amused smile] I can definitely see that happening.

Slow of Wit.

Feeling somewhat daft. Can't seem to get some code working properly and the instructions that I am following make it sound so simple. 'Do A, follow up with B, massage code slightly and voila, you are all done'. Grr Arrg! Excuse me while I go tear out great clumps of hair.

Further frustrations:
... and now of all things Blogger is down and I can't post my vent. Shall I anger the gods and demand if anything else can go wrong on this sunny day?

[Sheepish look] This of course would be functioning had I actually connected to the Internet. I am now feeling somewhat abashed...

Today feels like Thursday, yet it is only Tuesday

I keep feeling as if it should be the end of the week. Even yesterday, I walked into the store to purchase a snack and as I was leaving I wished the clerk a good weekend. To which the clerk looked at me oddly and laughed. As much as I try to convince myself that the week has just begun, my internal body clock keeps trying to convince me that the weekend is just a few minutes off. Weird! Hmm, maybe it is a subconscious thing, but for the life of me I cannot fathom why I am so looking forward to the end of the week.

A beautiful pinkish orange sky

A beautiful pinkish orange sky greeted me on the way back home. Wonderful!
It's been a while since we have seen the sun.

Monday Morning Greys

Crawled out of bed to a grey sky and no freshly brewed coffee. Blech!! Usually the flatmates are kind enough to leave me a scrapping of coffee to get me started. Once that has been consumed I am ready to face the day and brew me a new pot. But, alas this morning nothing! All this to say that I would rather be curled up in bed then out and about doing laundry. Grey mornings should not be faced without the fortifications of caffeine, especially dreary Monday mornings.

'Bond, James Bond'

Hugin

If I was a James Bond villain, I would be Francisco Scaramanga. I enjoy good food, monopolising the world's energy supplies, and sex before assassinating people. I am played by Christopher Lee in The Man with the Golden Gun.

Munin

If I was a James Bond villain, I would be Ernst Stavro Blofeld. I enjoy fluffy white cats, dropping people in piranha pools, and initiating World War III. I am played by Donald Pleasence in You Only Live Twice Who would you be? James Bond Villain Personality Test