Yesteryear

Doctors, Hospitals and Little Plastic Cups

It has been a long while since I have had a regular doctor's check up, about a decade or so, I usually tend to make an appearance if I am feeling truly under the weather, feverish or if I have developed some really odd rash that looks like chicken pox. However considering the span of time that has passed since I had last gotten a bill of good health I'd thought it might be a good idea to see our family doctor without the sniffles.

After a bit of chitchat and a prescription of pills for migraine headaches, my doctor looked down at my file and noted that it had been a while since he has sent me for any blood works. I was hoping he wouldn't notice that.

So, this morning after about two weeks of procrastinating I finally made my way to the hospital for the blood tests and a urine test. What is it about little plastic cups that make your bladder suddenly become very shy?

I had intentionally left the house this morning with a semi full bladder knowing that I would have to fill a cup as soon as I got there. After dancing through the sign-in line, pick left foot up, cross over right, place foot back down cha-cha cha, right foot over left ... cha-cha cha, and squirming through the blood test the kindly nurse handed me the cup and directed me towards the washroom. Finally I would get to relieve the pressure that had been building up all morning. Walking to the bathroom my bladder screaming for release and eyeing the cup as delusion of grandeur filled my head 'I would fill that cup right up, oh yes I would.' Open the door, unzip, and nothing. Wait a little while still nothing, it would seem that my bladder was now bone dry. How the heck did that happen when only a few moments before I was doing the bathroom mamba. Finally after much cajoling, humming and pleading with the organ a sense of release, the cup was half full and nothing more was forthcoming. As discretely as I could I snuck back into the room, placed the cup on the tray and snuck out. I am hoping that the quantity left will suffice and that I won't be called for a second encounter with the little plastic cup. I don't think my bladder can handle any further humiliations.