Sock Fairy
[Put 5 set of socks in laundry, pull 4 sets of socks out and one sad lonesome little sock. Stare perplexedly at socks, open dryer, stick head in dryer, search high and low for missing sock]
How is it that you almost always land up with missing socks? You put a full set of socks into the laundry, wash 'em, toss 'em into the dryer, pull them out and you find that you are missing one sock. I can understand loosing socks on the way to the Laundromat. Things fall out of baskets on your way there, or go missing when you are not really paying attention to how you are slinging things into the washer/dryer but are instead flirting with the really cute guy [or girl, depending on well, you know] standing next to you. What I can't understand is how you can loose them in your own laundry room. Where do they go? Does the dryer eat them or is it the washer? Maybe there is a little impish sock fairy that zooms about and collects them for his nest. I can picture it now, a rather rotund scruffy knobby-kneed sock fairy. Zipping about in his boxer shorts, white stained undershirt, black garters holding up mismatched socks, puffs of cigar smoke billowing about his stubbly jaw. He's probably also the reason why I have holey socks, he must be using the threads he pulls to darn his own mismatched pair. Well at least the holes provide some form of air-conditioning on those really hot sweaty days. But how am I supposed to go out in the world with mismatched socks. Damned little sock fairy, wait till I get my hands on you!