Went for breakfast with my mom today, it had been two weeks since I've seen her and we got to catch up and spend some time together. Though the experience was pleasurable it was also sobering.
My mom has reached an age where she no longer wants to do contract work; she would like a job with stability. She has worked as an architect and interior designer for more then 30 years, this has given her some rather interesting views on life especialy on how one should deal with construction workers, but it has also taken its toll. She is now looking for a full time job which will offer her security and benefits, this is hard for a woman her age, especially one with her experience. It seems that companies do not care to hire womem in their 50's, nor do they seem to want to hire people with 30 years of experience. The latter is because they have to pay more for an experienced person and the former because it means a pension plan which in the long run means they have to dish out more money. These are some of the reasons that have actually been given to my mom.
The sobering moment came when my mom asked me, where she is going to land up 10 to 15 years down the road. I honestly did not know what to tell her. I wish I could say that she would be ok, that she will have a job she loves and a place to live. I wish I could tell her that she would have no worries. But in this day and age I can't. It's hard to see the person who raised you by herself, who was the rock in your universe as a child be so defeated. It's hard to watch the tears form in her eyes when she considers her future and sees no real set goal or plan. My mom would love to be able to go back to school and study something new, but then she questions what will she gain from this endeavor. I wish I could tell her to go for it no matter what the consequences, but every time I do, the same old fears crop up for her. Will she be able to afford it, how will she support herself. I've also tried suggesting that she try finding work on an international scale. But she fears doing this as well as she does not believe that she has the strength to move from a familiar place at her age, that it is easier to do this when you are young. Another sobering thought, especially from my mom, who has lived on three separate continents in four different countries. A woman who packed her bags when she was 19 to leave her native country and who then packed up her daughter and herself to move to an unknown country.
It make me wonder what my fears will be when I am older, what I will able to accomplish, where my life will lead me. Will I land up working in a company for 20 years only to be laid off with no transferable skills? Will I have a home? Will I have made the right decisions? Will my family be ok? It is also left me with a sense of how lucky I am. I have an incredible mother who taught me many things and who did her best to give me the things that she never got as a child, for that I am truly grateful. Though she is going to be a hard act to follow when I have kids. I have a loving family and a group of caring friends, there is someone in my life who loves me and who is there to support me. I have hopefully many years ahead of me to experience life, to make mistakes and to hopefully succeed. Hopefully one day, I will be able to give back to my mom what she has given me.
Posted by munin at January 28, 2002 11:07 PM