It frustrates me that I can have full discourses with myself, presenting one diatribe after another when standing under a shower, or using the facilities [i.e. sitting on the john] or walking from one point to another, but that as soon as I attempt to commit thought to paper, my monologues/tirades will either seem to be trivial and unformed, like some child’s tantrum or they will simply vanish, smoke caught up in a strong wind, never to be seen again.
I am aware that one of the contributing factors is my lack of self-confidence in laying out my thoughts for the all world to see. I do not have the ability to read the things I write and say: This is good. You’ve made some strong points and people are going to appreciate the views you have brought forth. No, instead I pick at every thought and nuance of phrase and wonder if I am just farting in the wind or simply babbling, a monkey at a typewriter striking random keys. And then there are the spurts when I will furiously type something out, a master piece written in the middle of the night when sleep is an elusive muse only to come back to it later, a cynical critic who will mark it up as. ‘Tripe.’ Questioning the world as to, ‘ Whom the bloody hell would want to read anything like this?’
I envy the people who seem to have no difficulties in writing out their thoughts, whether they are presenting their views on current affairs, ranting about injustices, telling stories with their words, or simply rambling on about the non-consequential. They have a knack at making what they write seem effortless and yet it manages to captivate you, drawing you in deeper with every turn of phrase.
They are my blog muses and in my heart I hope that if I keep doing this, maybe, just maybe one day I’ll get that knack. Maybe one day that flair with words will be mine.
... funny... I feel the same way about posting comments. ;) *big grin*
Sympathy with the lost thoughts bit; I sometimes put that down to "getting lost in translation" between mediums {i.e., interior brain ether vs. exterior blog ether, or spoken medium vs. literary medium}. There's always going to be shrinkage. :)
You know, I've been mulling over this post for the last few days... And I'm really surprised that, in the meantime, no-one has commented; because I think we all have the same niggling little aggravations & worries... You'd think somebody would've said something...
{...you'd think *somebody* would be *shameless* enough to admit to liking their own work; guess it's only me. :) I do it for the enjoyment of writing it ~ I'd pity anyone who has to suffer reading it, if I had that much empathy... human social interaction not being my greatest skill and all...
The way I see it, if I can pretend to *be* anybody over the internet, then I can also pretend an audience as well; so, I like to pretend that my audience *loves* me, wildy and madly, regardless of, or perhaps even because of how insignificant/bombastic/dry/sappy my blog is. And they're just too shy to post.
Of course, that's not going to work for everyone, just anybody who is able to delude themselves as much as I am. :)}
Anyway. Your writing is of fine quality. And I don't think you need anybody's advice; but I can't resist reminding you of that old chestnut:
"Just try to imagine your audience in their underwear."
{Mind you... I'm not sure that Michaelangelo's "David" *wears* underwear...}
Posted by: edgar mousehat on Junio 18, 2003 06:14 PM